believe 2.0

Unless you live under a rock (don’t have a Twitter), or have your trending topics set to some obscure, unpopulated location, then there’s only about a .5 percent chance you didn’t know Justin Bieber just released a new album, Believe Acoustic. There’s a pretty good chance you didn’t care, but very small odds that you managed to miss it completely.

Like its name suggests, Believe Acoustic is the same as Justin’s summer 2012 Believe CD—just acoustic.

Unlike his millions of eager fans, my first thought was not, YAYYYYYY BELIEVE 2.0!!!!! nor was it BELIEVE WAS SO GOOD! HOW WILL HE TOP IT?!! I was a part of the minority population. The one who questioned how greedy someone needs to be to re-release the same CD, just this time with no band, in order to make more money. I just don’t think “less is more” is a cliché Justin chooses to live by. He’s more along the lines of “I drive a $100,000 chrome-finished car…” but I digress.

I’m not confessing to having bought it, but somehow his Believe Acoustic found its way into my iTunes. And for some reason, I pressed play.

Here’s the nice thing about an acoustic version of “Boyfriend:” Justin sounds like way less of a tool when he says the word “swaggy.” 

Another added bonus to the tracks is that they can make their way onto your SLEEP playlist, and you won’t get a heart attack when the previously-loud, now quiet, tracks go off when you’re mid-nap.

Here’s the downside: You can no longer use “Beauty and a Beat” as your ringtone, as Nicki Minaj’s squawking voice has been deleted and so there’s really nothing to frighten you into waking up. Maybe Justin was sparing us the pain when he ditched Nicki, or maybe he was hoping we’d forget about that time Nicki rapped about his one-time love “Selener” (Selena Gomez), but either way, this is a change I was excited about.

Speaking of Selena, Believe Acoustic included three new tracks that all depict the pain Justin felt during their most recent break up.

Now, I don’t want to overanalyze his lyrics, but I’m pretty sure he accuses Selena of hitting the liquor to numb the heartbreak. In fact, I’m quite positive that’s what he’s saying, as the exact line is, “Have you been drinking to take all the pain away?”

It’s okay if you hate Justin, but you have to admire him for seeing his on-again/off-again (Perez says they’re on-again) girlfriend’s cry for help (that awkward Spring Breakers trailer, her slow transformation into looking like a Vanessa Hudgens fashion clone, etc.) and deciding to write her a love song. Or three. Because that’s right, Believe Acoustic features three new songs. One of which is about a yellow raincoat, and if you’re already a Bieber skeptic, you’ll probably want to skip that one.

Maybe Believe Acoustic is not the type of thing you want to be caught listening to while you’re sitting in Starbucks, writing an anti-Nicholas Sparks screenplay (scrolling Facebook), and drinking your five dollar venti latte, but if you’re carrying around ear buds or looking to annoy your neighbors—go for it.

After all, no one has to know that you’re secretly listening to the teen sensation with more Twitter followers than the population of Canada. Just pretend it’s another undiscovered indie band you found on the new MySpace (which you’re bringing back, of course) and who’s to know the difference?

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