Confessions of a Canadian: 04.30.14

I have a lot to say. Like, did you know ‘wonuts’ (waffle donuts) exist? Or, did you know “$1 per 100 words” is an actual form of job compensation? Or, how about the fact that the Provoc is the “Club of the Year?” Yeah, I have a lot to say. Sadly, I don’t have a lot of space. 

If you’re reading this, the Provoc’s final deadline has passed, and my stint as Editor-in-Chief has officially ended (unless, of course, you’re the editorial staff reading this through edits, in which case, thank you. I love you. I appreciate your commitment to deleting the Oxford commas that are consistently littered throughout my articles.) It’s a bittersweet feeling to be finished with my time on the Provoc. On the sweet hand, it’ll be nice to once again see daylight on what would be deadline weekends. On the bitter hand, I am saying goodbye to something that has been instrumental in shaping who I am today.

I could fill this column with “Universal Bethany Truths,” (truths that I think apply to everyone, but in reality, only apply to me), but when you only have one column left, you tend to doubt the importance of complaints like, “WHY DID NETFLIX RAISE ITS PRICES? DON’T THEY KNOW I’M BROKE?” These things suddenly seem trivial, and aren’t the ‘final’ column moments that I want to leave pressed into my last Le Provocateur issue. Instead, what I want to leave behind is love.

And a lot of it.

I hope that during my time in the United States, I have helped people to feel love—for poutine, maple syrup, donair sauce on pizza. I hope that they have realized they love Canadian Oreos more than American Oreos. I hope they have decided they love the Canadian spelling of neighbourhood versus America’s neighborhood. I hope I’ve helped people love donuts. 

Because what I’ve learned in this Assumption World is that love really does matter. Kindness matters. Loving yourself when it’s 3 a.m. and you’re struggling to finish a philosophy paper—that matters. Because you cannot fight the negativity of the world with increased negativity. It takes happiness and positivity to help ease sorrows, and to find happiness within yourself.

When a room is dark, it only takes the inching open of the blind to let sunlight in. It only takes the pushing open of a door to let the light of the hallway shine through. A little bit of light can guide your way. And a little bit of light can create a lot of love. 

And that’s what I’ve felt here—love. Maybe I haven’t loved everything about Assumption. I sure hated the music my last year’s West neighbours constantly pounded through the walls. I’d be lying if I said I loved the late nights I spent trying to understand Ulysses in Approaches to Reading and Interpretation. And I definitely still don’t love the pollen that hits the Worcester air every spring.

What I have loved are the people—my roommates, my friends, my professors. These are the people who have made my college experience something I will forever look on with fondness. Do I want to get a job out of my college degree? Of course. But what I want more than that is to know that people will get you through life happily. Jobs may get you through financially (and hopefully your job will make you happy), but it’s people who lift you up, pull you through; it’s people who love you.

I don’t want to make this column goodbye, because this is really ending with a “to be continued,” but nonetheless, I have some thank yous. 

Thanks to my parents for taking me on my first 15-hour road trip to Massachusetts when I was two weeks old. My heart was constantly being tugged in this direction, and with the support of my family, I was able to follow my dreams here. And with the support of my pilot brother, I’ve been able to go back and forth as much as possible. And with the support of my sister, who spent nine months in Asia my freshman year, I’ve learned that distance doesn’t matter when love is stronger.

Thanks to my roommates of the past four years, who have hugged me when I cried (Provoc tears, of course). And who have stayed up late laughing with me. And who have made my college dorm a “home.” I love you like I love the Weight Watchers dark chocolate raspberry ice cream bars that permanently reside in our freezer.

To this year’s Provoc staff and last’s: thanks for the constant reminder of just how important words are. As I enter into the World of Numbers, I’ll hold letters close to my heart, and forever I will be grateful for each of you.

There are a lot of things I will miss about college, but I will take even more things with me. I’ll carry my professors’ constant encouragement in my heart. I’ll think of my media analysis class whenever Fox News tries to manipulate me (just kidding…I’d never watch Fox). And as I think with my liberal arts “well rounded” mind, I will think of all the people who brought me to this place.

Because I’ll look back on college with love. And I look towards the future with even more love. Because life is a really great and beautiful thing, and it’s silly to think of it with anything but love. I’m forever grateful for the amount of love that’s been shown to me in four years here.

XOXO, Gossip Girl. 

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